


And Then What? ;)

by Zai42



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Dick Pics, Do Not Archive, Epistolary, Gross, I'm Sorry, Inappropriate Humor, Multi, Other, Texting, Worms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 14:33:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18096197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zai42/pseuds/Zai42
Summary: Jane Prentiss thinks John Amherst is a goddamn creep.





	And Then What? ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Stop. Read the tags. Ask yourself: Do I really want to do this?

AMHERST: you up?

PRENTISS: how did you get this number i've had this phone for like 4 hours

AMHERST: lol

AMHERST: wyd

PRENTISS: i'm kinda in the middle of something? like i've got a guy trapped in his apartment rn

PRENTISS: it's his phone

PRENTISS: so like i can't rly talk

AMHERST: lol

AMHERST: wat would you do if i was there

PRENTISS: idk

* * *

 

PRENTISS: he's texting me again

NIKOLA: ?? sarah??

PRENTISS: no it's jane, new phone

NIKOLA: oh!!

NIKOLA: hello jane!! my caller id never works anyway so i wouldn't have known!! who's texting you??

JANE: amherst. again. hang on he just sent another one

* * *

 

AMHERST: wat guy

PRENTISS: ?

AMHERST: the guy you trapped

PRENTISS: idk some eye nerd

AMHERST: you gonna make him a hive?

PRENTISS: maybe

AMHERST: haha and then what? ;)

* * *

 

PRENTISS: OMGGG

[screenshot of above conversation]

PRENTISS: why. is he like this.

NIKOLA: LOL [string of nonsensical emojis, including several not known to exist]

* * *

 

AMHERST: you still there?

PRENTISS: yea

AMHERST: wanna see something cool?

PRENTISS: idk i'm kinda busy

AMHERST: i'll send it anyway ;)

[Attached image of a debatably human penis, possibly infected with every known STI and some yet undiscovered. It oozes, in ways very little in nature ought to ooze, dripping cloudy, greenish fluid in a rivulet down the shaft. Thought it is a still image, it seems to writhe, as if it is pulsing. Looking closely reveals a cluster of maggots in the spongy meat of the head, a fly alighting in the matted public hair, and a large chunk missing from the side as if it had rotted, scabbed, and been picked off]

* * *

 

PRENTISS: UGH he sent me a DICK PIC

NIKOLA: he did NOT!!

NIKOLA: is it a nice dick??

PRENTISS: that is NOT the point

NIKOLA: IT IS!! if it wasn't you would have said no!!

PRENTISS: ok it's an OKAY dick

PRENTISS: like. why does he have to be so hot. he's such a fuckin creep

NIKOLA: send it to me i wanna see

PRENTISS: yeah ok one sec

* * *

 

PRENTISS: i'm at work dude

* * *

 

[send image to: Jon]

* * *

 

PRENTISS: ah shit i sent it to the archivist by mistake

PRENTISS: do you think he'll know it was me

NIKOLA: LMAO!!

NIKOLA: literally, idk where that went.

PRENTISS: i think i have it. anyway here

[send image to: Nikola]

NIKOLA: oh it is a nice dick. do you want me to try and steal it for you? [photo-realistic heart emoji]

PRENTISS: haha omg

PRENTISS: would you really?

NIKOLA: anything for my jane!!

PRENTISS: i would def like it better attached to you [worm emoji]

NIKOLA: [string of several photo-realistic organ emojis, some unidentifiable]

* * *

 

AMHERST: wait did u screenshot that?

AMHERST: hello?

AMHERST: :(

**Author's Note:**

> that moment of utter terror while you furiously double-check not having ticked off the "does this fulfill a challenge assignment" button on your horrid little gross-out fic


End file.
